Friday, June 15, 2007


Okay, guys! Today is the Jhoom Bararbar Jhoom day. The Yash Raj Film directed by Shaad Ali Sahgal releases today. So, there is no fault today, if I post many........many..........JBJ-related posts. For starters, the character sketch. The next post will be synopsis.

Steve Singh is the immensely rich and treacherously handsome joint partner of London's reputed Singh & Smith Law firm. Steve is the man's man... the man about town... powerful, intense and very self-effacing... Born to a British Mum and Punjabi Dad, he's a balance of Punjabi impulse - not thinking twice before heroically saving Alvira's life - and he's got suave ritzy genteel from his Brit Mum. Classy. Seemly. Chivalrous. That's Steve.

He has a palace for an office matched only by Mandrake's Xanadu. And wears those dashing suits and up-market cuts like Bruce Wayne. What's more... one meeting and he seemed to know everything about Alvira her religious rituals, where she worked, her pet name... Is he Clark Kent or Superman? He even seems to appear and disappear at will... Yes... That's Steve.

He has those natty rugged looks... a scar on his cheek that he got while rescuing a girl who was being forced to dance... But even that Steve doesn't wear on his sleeve. He's Alvira's knight in shining armour... her millionaire lover... her hero...

Picture a three foot six inch girl. She stands alone in the middle of a church. Merely six years old, Alvira Khan takes an oath before God. "I'll never marry a brownie kaalakalutaa. Please find me a good-looking gora boy like yourself. Amen." Cut to 20 odd years later. Alvira is your typical Pakistani Brit. She would hate to acknowledge the Pakistani part... She's more Brit than the Queen herself.

Despite living in a ghettoized Lahori household, Alvira has that stiff upper lip attitude towards the riffraff...especially those crass Southalliyas with their lack of polish and their over-friendliness. That job she has as Manager at the House of Fraser's is a godsend. She can hobnob with the hip Bond Streeters any time she likes... Yea, that's what she calls 'class'...

She has a princess personality and a virtually rebellious opinion of everything. And on a fated day at Madame Tussaud's, the princess is daringly rescued by her knight in shining armour... her prince Steve, who grabs her from under a falling Superman model... And she's swept off her feet, heels over head in love... Her dream come true!

Baadshah of Bhatinda, now Sultan of Southall... Rikki Thukral! Confront him and he pulls out his most lethal weapon... "I got class"... Can't mess with Rikki after that. Classy he is, in his own earthy way... Just watch him engineer a deal... selling pirated films, illegal antiques, rented property, second hand fridges... if need be even the Queen's crown... Rikki makes it look like a cakewalk with his canny cheekiness and charm.

Rikki came to Southall with a dream... of acquiring windfall riches. He would do all it takes... The moment he met Huffy Bhai it was like love at first sight. It didn't matter that Huffy Bhai was from Karachi or that he would lift his kurta at the most inappropriate moment... they got on like a house on fire. Him and Huffy live life with the attitude and spunk that shouts out, "We're here now... and now that we're here, Southall is ours!" They stay themselves everywhere... and wherever they go, they set up an independent republic! Together, both of them can arrange anything under the sun... from the best seats at the Cricket World Cup to a fridge at the cheapest price... after all, it's not fashionable for a modern day entrepreneur to have all fingers in one pie.

They haven't got a permanent mailing address... and even if they did, nothing would ever get sent there... Always on the move, Rikki's clients' needs are such that he can't contain his business in an office... so the whole of Southall is his oyster. Rikki doesn't consider himself a crook, but rather a maverick who just makes the calls... talks the talk... brings people together... walks the walk... makes his commission and stays happy.

Like everything in Rikki's life, even falling in love was 70mm cinemascope. Only Rikki could have fallen in love with his dream girl Anaida when the legendary love-birds Princess Diana and Dodi were leaving The Ritz for the last time.... And then like sparkling magic, as Rikki says, "when two lovers die, another two are born"... they dance... they sing... they're in love!

Anaida Raza is the sizzling nymph with a soft core. Brought up in the City of Love as a pragmatic,rooted and razor-sharp woman... Assistant Manager at The Ritz Hotel in Paris... she runs her beat with metronomic efficiency and keeps everybody including her staff happy.

She's dealt with all types and can be as friendly as she can be foxy. She'll manage a huge hotel and make it look like a breeze... despite thousands of photographers jumping all over the place... but also find the time to pick up Rikki's handkerchief from the floor and return it to him... How was she to know the hanky would turn out bait... and she'd be hooked, in love with Rikki in the flicker of a moment.

Like so many around the world... she gave her heart to Princess Diana. So much so, that despite her otherwise no-nonsense exterior, she cried when she couldn't visit Diana's funeral.

She has that alluring combination of passion and charisma that would make any guy go ga-ga...

And Rikki is no exception.

Well, I just spotted toooooooooooooooooo many goofs outta there. They will be clear when the film is released. Yash Raj Films! Do something real research!

  • Watch the trailer! You'll see that despite being all Brits and (MAYBE!) no acquaintance with India. Yet. they converse in Hindi!
  • Despite being "more brit than the queen herself" and "Sultan of Southall" Preity and AB Jr. have not a single touch of British English accent! Wow!
  • Diana died in 1997. IF the film is set in present times (probably), the characters look not a single day older in the 10-year old flashback. Just compare this two songs (Kiss, Ticket) with trailer.

थोरा तो research करो! Please think!

Okay. no more criticism now. Get ready.



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