Saturday, May 19, 2007

Personal Movie Review: Spider-Man 3 - An Absolutely . . .

This is my first personal review appearing on BUwH. When I t movie of this frachise it didn't make me flabbergated but nonetheless it was a good movie. When I saw the second one, I was completely bowled over by it. Be it the story or screenplay or acting or direction or VFX or was a perfect balance. Since then I was a fan of the "friendly neighbourhood". See my previous posts, how aggresively I promoted spidey 3. From June, I used up all my hard disk space collecting HD videos and trailers of SM3. After a tedious yet exciting wait of 3 years, I entered the theater with bated breath. After thye screening was over, I came to a conclusion that it's an ABSOLUTE movie. I tell you why.

*ABSOLUTELY awesome action scenes.
*ABSOLUTE no action thoughout the movie. They come as ABSOLUTE compromise, just for sake of the ABSOLUTE trailer.
*ABSOLUTE nonsense emotions.
*ABSOLUTE useless sobbing.
*ABSOLUTE example of Hollywood copying Bollywood craps.
*ABSOLUTE example of shortage of a proper story.
*ABSOLUTE worst screenplay seen in a long time.
*ABSOLUTELY bad storytelling. Sam! What's that?
*ABSOLUTELY lenghty. It crawls and crawls and leaves a perpetual pain.
*ABSOLUTELY no acting from any of the cast.
*ABSOLUTE action & bad storyline ratio of 1:100
*ABSOLUTE useless scenes.
*The screenplay's so occupied to give importance to each sub-plot, that the sory itself becomes ABSOLUTELY impotent without giving any importance.
*James Franco's teeth are ABSOLUTELY annoying.
*Franco puts an ABSOLUTELY decent performance.
*Just like too much cooks spoil the film each of the 3 villain mars everything ABSOLUTELY.
*ABSOLUTE lack of smartness, failure to infuse humour.
*ABSOLUTELY brilliant J. Jonah Jameson (this man's always....)
*If you sum up all the bad guys and merge into one 100 times over, that doesn't ABSOLUTELY touch a bit of Alfred Molina-played Doc Ock or even GG!

*Thomas Haden Church has only one ABSOLUTE squirming countenance and is ABSOLUTELY abysmal.
*Topher has an ABSOLUTELY decent, not great performance.
*An ABSOLUTE example of bad and plastic CG in form of the black sticky thing.
*ABSOLUTELY badly created role and VFX of Venom.
The number of Sandman plotholes/ goofs is just uncounatble.
*I'm a diehard science student. I don't like anyone tampering with that. Okay, Thomas enters the highly radioactive science zone without a >440 v spark. And a demoleculizer turning sandman? Can't take it anymore. It'd take another couple of posts to explain. So better leave it ABSOLUTELY undiscussed.

**************SPOILERS HERE!*******************
*The symbiant actually comes from a hot burning meteorite, but still ABSOLUTELY dies of the fire in the end.
**************SPOILERS END*******************

*When Flint Marko (Sandman) is in the demoleculizer, everything including his belt buckle turns to sand, but the locket with the picture of his daughter doesn't.
*Tobey is ABSOLUTELY better at dancing than acting.
*About Kirsten, it's ABSOLUTELY the less said the better. Quoting another reviewer, I say, you wish Goblin succeeded killing her in the first part.
*Bryce, though decent, is ABSOLUTELY wasted here.
*Bill Pope (DOP) is the ABSOLUTE star of the film.
*Sound Design may win it an Oscar ABSOLUTELY.
*The climax is the ABSOLUTELY the most contrived sequence ever made.

*Sony should ABSOLUTELY think changing every part of cast and crew.
*If you love Bollywood massacres like DHOOM:2 and KRRISH, you may like it ABSOLUTELY.
*It's the WORST movie in the franchise, albeit a bit above the likes of KRRISH, D:2, SUPERMAN RETURNS, BATMAN BEGINS.
*An ABSOLUTE example of a Hollywood crap being produced under popular demand and super success of the prequels. You may know that the release date 5/4/7 was set before the release of 2. So they made it somehow without a thought and respect for Spidey fans like me.
*update: Some dialogues are actually lifted from this film.


If you really love the makers of the film and yourself too, do yourself a favour. Buy a SPIDER-MAN 2 special edition DVD than to watch this. I'd do that. Though some jug head thinks it's better than 2. You can also buy SRK starrer DON, which has better storyline and action.

Bollywood Unlimited Rating
Letter Grade: C-
Stars: * * * * ½ ½ * * * * * (4.5/10)

Wait for a television premiere in case you haven't seen it.

did you like or dislike the film or my review? tell me and give your ratings to the film and the review.

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